Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Rhyme for Valentine's


I could not find a poem to say what I must say,
And so I wrote a rhyme myself to celebrate this day
To all of you who've touched my life in countless little ways,
Or spent with me some moments that I’ll cherish all my days
Perhaps we are not lovers, perhaps we’re merely friends,
(Perhaps we’re mortal enemies, a situation I must mend)
Perhaps I see you every day, or not for years and years,
Perhaps we hardly speak at all, which brings me close to tears
I’d like to let you know that no matter what you do
Or where you go in life, that my love for you is true
You’re in my thoughts, and so I’ll say (I hope you will not mind):
To all of those I hold so dear, a Happy Valentine’s!

(originally posted on Facebook. Thought I'd put it up here as well)

Internet burnout

I haven't written on here in years. Most of my online life gets lived on Facebook these days, but I can't really say what I need to say there. I have no idea if anyone is going to read this, but whatever, it needs to come out.

I'm feeling kind of tired of the Internet. I feel like I expend a massive amount of mental energy trying to connect with people on Facebook, or Twitter, or YouTube, and the amount of satisfaction I get in those moments that I do is comparatively small compared to the frustration I feel at failing. I feel sometimes like I fail at it more than I succeed. Ultimately, I'm using these online venues as a replacement for seeing people in real life with the same expectations as if I actually was, which is a recipe for disappointment. 

I used to have long, soulful email exchanges with a few of the people I'd meet online. Most of them I can't remember anymore, the email accounts I used to use before Gmail now lost to a sea of spam. I wish I could, the people that I wrote to were all interesting, funny and thoughtful. Back before that, I'd actually write real letters, full of personality and what I thought of as wit. Neither of these was the same as seeing someone face to face, but they felt substantive in a way that my interactions with people online these days often don't.

One of the things that I've experienced lately is a kind of burnout watching YouTube videos made by popular vloggers, who have a tendency to create a kind of intimacy between artist and audience, speaking to the camera and addressing the audience as if they were a close friend. I yearn for the kind of closeness and connection that these videos seem to promise, but the intimacy provided is ultimately false. 

How do I solve this frustration?